Sweet Pea Ain't So Sweet

Big Ben: "What's that, Ray?"**
Ray Lewis: "Wow, Ben, in my day Sweet Pea wouda got what she deserved! Tips!"
Big Ben: "C'mon, Ray! That's not even right."
Ray Lewis: "What? I mean from the Ravens' upcoming opponents!"
Big Ben: "Badump Bump!"

**I have no idea what order Shawn meant for this dialogue to go, so I just kinda winged it.

By now, I'm sure you've all heard the story of Ravens player (and Dancing with the Stars sensation) Jacoby Jones getting hit in the head with a champagne bottle by a stripper named Sweet Pea on a party bus while celebrating teammate Bryant McKinney's birthday. (This first link is my FAVORITE about the news, mainly because the headline is SO misleading about the content to come.) Jacoby has "apologized" about the incident without really apologizing. Torrey Smith pointed out that this is a non-story (while building a house for Habitat for Humanity! Why isn't THAT being talked about?!), and the media should just move on. And Ray Lewis, never one to shy from offering an opinion that brings the story back around to him, blames a lack of leadership after his retire and Ed Reed's move to the Texans for Jacoby's Wild Night.

For those interested, this is what Baltimore's strippers look like:

(source)

Keep it classy, Bmore & Ravens.

Nikki Post: GOOD NEEEWWWWWS, Everyone!

Oh, what's that? Someone's got tickets to see the RUMBLE OF THE SEASON ON THANKSGIVING DAY??!?!? While other suckers will be eating turkey and watching the Cowboys and Lions lose on Thanksgiving, husband (yay! I'm married now!) Steve and I are going to the game! My daddy has been working for MONTHS to get these tickets. When he finally did, I made the mistake of asking him how he got them. Daddy reminded me that I shouldn't ask questions about such things. It's the number one rule for Italian men: don't ask questions if you're not willing to perjure yourself about the answers.

This is the best wedding present EVER.

Good Thing He Didn't Get Any Guaranteed Money!

The Ravens recently-signed linebacker Rolando McClain, formerly of the Oakland Raiders, was arrested ELEVEN DAYS after joining a team that was willing to give him a (risky, IMO) second fourth chance. Reports out of Decatur, Alabama said that Rolando was at a park with 700 other people, there was some kind of fight, the cops tried to break it up, our boy got all N.W.A. on the situation and started screaming, "F*CK THE PO-LICE!" then resisted arrest, because that's OBVIOUSLY a good idea. According to the above (second) link, the 23-year-old was already out on bond because of some shenanigans earlier. I'm seriously beginning to wonder if this guy has ANY common sense...

Obviously I discussed the situation with Shawn, who laughed as much as one would expect a Steelers fan to laugh. (Probably because for once, it wasn't one of HIS players committing a crime.) While this isn't a verbatim quote (he refused to type one up for me, claiming he was "busy doing his job), this was the basic gist of why he thinks the Ravens drafted such a high-risk player in the first place:

"Rolando McClain seemed to be a reasonable option for the Ravens before the draft to fill the holes in their defense that they created when many of their players left or were cut. It's not that McClain is a bad player; he's just a personnel risk from a legal standpoint. Ravens' management wanted to go into the draft [which starts this Thursday] with the ability to draft players that they want, that will be the best option and NOT the players that they need to fill empty spaces on their roster."

JP Starkey of SBNation agrees with Shawn: it was a risk to hire McClain, and he's now put the Ravens in an awkward position only two days before the draft. The team is still deciding what to do, and it's hard to think that they'll make a decision in the next couple of days. Then again, I don't know anything about the draft, so we'll just wait and see.

I Don't Think That's What Troy Meant, Mr. Lewis...

Transcript:

Troy: "Mr. Lewis and Mrs. uhm..RaNikki? What do you think the Ravens are going to do in the first round?"
Ray: "DRAFT?! I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S ON TAP! LOL!"
RaNikki: "I think we're going to draft a sassy Italian girl from Baltimore!"

It appears that Ray has no more fucks to give about anything football related. It also appears that I'm going to be a lineback for the Ravens (if they're smart!).

NOTE: I'm not yet a "Mrs." I'm getting married in August. <3

Neither of Them is Necessarily Wrong

I'm fairly certain that I've hated on the Orioles, Baltimore's often disappointing baseball team, on this blog before. They're awful, historically speaking, and sometimes to a painfully laughable level. They proved me mostly wrong last year by getting their shit together and making the playoffs, and even though they didn't go that deep into the post-season, this glimmer of hope and promise gave the good fans in Baltimore something to cheer about. The team brought back the "Orioles Magic" that so many people had been waiting for thirty years to visit the city once again. They're having an up-and-down start to the season this year. (Check out their losing streak numbers, then read about how Chris Davis is a friggin' BEAST in a variety of ways.) The fans are remaining loyal though, coming to the game in (relative) droves and still talking about how "this year is OUR year." However, the Orioles management has gotten into hot water for completely dicking up something even MORE important to the Baltimore sports fans:

They refuse to reschedule a game that coincides with what would be opening day for the Ravens. Seriously. The REIGNING SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS are going to start their year ON THE ROAD in Denver. (Which means that when I get (probably insanely expensive) tickets to this game, I might actually be assaulted.) I'm not sure if this problem has arisen in other cities, so I can't say if it's that big a deal elsewhere, but Camden Yards and M&T Bank Stadium are in the same spot, essentially. They practically share a parking lot. So rescheduling was crucial for TWO reasons: 1) to save people the wrenching task of choosing between their two beloved teams as to which they'll watch; and 2) to save people from the clusterfuck that would be the traffic/parking/bar hopping situation.

The city is split into two camps: those who think that the Orioles are being dicks, and those who think that the Ravens are being bullies to the MLB. While the latter camp's arguments are sound, I'm firmly in the first "This is crap" camp because I obviously like football MUCH better than I do baseball.

I'm not the only one who is disappointed in the Orioles. Jets' head coach, former Ravens defensive coordinator, well-known sandwich-lover, and foot fetishist Rex Ryan had this to say about the controversy:

“I understand the Orioles are playing a game at home. Well, who really cares? You’ve got 81 of them things at home and maybe you could’ve done the right thing and given one up and played 82 on the road and 80 at home. I really don’t think people are going to care about that game. You have a chance to have the defending world champs open the season at home where they rightfully should. I think that’s unfortunate.” (Source)

In a hilarious burn, Orioles' head coach Buck Showalter had this to say:

“I think I’d be a little more concerned about Nov. 24 when the Jets come here and try to figure out a way to beat the Ravens, wouldn’t you?”

"In Oz We Trust" is Becoming a REALLY Stupid Motto This Year

It figures. The first day off Shawn's taken in weeks, and the Ravens drop another huge bomb during free agency. (Well, they haven't actually officially made the announcement yet. Probably trying to find a PR-friendly way to do it.) Now who am I going to rant and rave to?!

The news of which I speak is that special teams player/inside linebacker/gay marriage advocate Brendon Ayanbadejo has been cut by the Ravens. (NOTE: If you are an intelligent, empathetic person, do NOT read the comments. I made that mistake, got to the two ignorant ones about how he's gay for supporting marriage equality, and had to leave my desk because my blood pressure spiked.)

He announced it this morning on his Twitter feed:

Now I learned this news from my friend Zack (more on that later), but it turns out Steve knew as well! He didn't tell me because "I knew you’d flip out." My friend Kelsey ALSO knew, but she didn't tell me because she figured that "if [she] knew then [ I ] probably knew." (Usually a valid assumption to make.) I understand their caution because I'm sitting here writing a blog entry about it, all upset and cranky.

Zack pointed out the confusion that many Ravens fans will feel about this bizarre and shocking move:

"We're already thin at inside linebacker, and the man is a beast on special teams. They weren't paying him a lot, so why do it? Zero sense move. Somehow I knew you would not be pleased [with the news]." (Everyone knows me really well apparently.)

Now, I don't pretend to understand the math involved during free agency with regards to salary caps. I can't give specific stats about why a player should or should not leave. But the terminations of Brendon's and Boldin's contracts just don't make any sense to me, nor do they make sense to a lot of fans in Ravens Nation.

I worry that next year isn't going to be as successful a year as 2012 was...

I'm Such A Forgetful Frannie

I've had these two links in my "drafts" folder for AGES but kept forgetting to post them here. I know it's incredibly late, but here's how my Ravens group got famous during the Super Bowl.

First we were on 9 News: http://www.9news.com/video/2140542795001/1/Watching-Super-Bowl-at-Denver-bar

Then we made it into Westword, Denver's alternative weekly: http://www.westword.com/slideshow/super-bowl-2013-ravens-fans-vs-49ers-fans-38739647/#37

If you look closely in those pictures, you can see me...in WAY too many pictures. Oy. 

Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery

For those who may not have watched Jacoby Jones rock the dance floor (according to fans; Len was particularly bitchy), here's a link:

While his "foot work & posture" need improving apparently, his hips don't lie; that man can DANCE! It was the sexiest dance of the night, and I'm saying that as someone with lady parts and NOT as a Ravens fan. I also thought that the pair integrated the Squirrel Dance seamlessly into their routine. The crowd went absolutely bonkers. The show wisely put Jacoby on last; they knew that Ravens Nation in particular and NFL fans in general would only want to watch him dance and then would probably turn the show off. I'd LOVE to see the dancer-by-dancer ratings for Dancing with the Stars; I bet the numbers went through the roof when he came on!

I can't wait to see how far our boy can get during this season of Dancing with the Stars; I hope it's far enough to win him his second trophy of the year!

Elite as F*ck

There's obviously been a LOT of talk (understatement) about the deal Joe Flacco just signed, cementing him as the Ravens' franchise quarterback. Some think he's worth it, especially after his playoff victories. Others think the Ravens are wasting valuable cap money on an "inconsistent" player. The pro-Flacco camp then counters with how much better Joe got after Cam was fired, and everyone agrees that firing Cam Cameron was a great idea.

As a paranoid Ravens fan, I'm worried that Fate will do something awful to screw all this up. I won't say my specific fears, as that will only bring the Evil Eye, and I don't have time to deal with that. All any of us can do is wait until training camp/pre-season and see.
Also, to hell with Tom Brady. };)

The Most Important Purple Friday of Them All

This is it. The final Purple Friday of the season. Two more sleeps (as T-Sizzle says) until the big game. Two more sleeps until the Ravens fans take over Choppers Sports Bar in Denver and make the walls shake with our cheers. And how are we celebrating? With the best damn Purple Friday around!

First up, my parents:

Here's Mom, rocking her traditional Purple Friday/Game Day outfit.

She's even got her nails all Raven'd up

My daddy just had a full hip replacement and was in the hospital today. Doesn't mean that Mom and I would let him get away with not rockin' the purple! <3

My first office job in Baltimore was at a spring factory in the county. Here are my former coworkers, rockin' the purple! (Front row: Darrell and Steve; from L to R: Tracey, Kelle, Wendy, Kim, Linda, Maria, Mary Ann, and Bonnie)

My co-hostess with the co-mostess for Sunday, Caroline, caw-cawing it up at her office in Denver

College friend Andrew has gone crazy and dyed his hair purple. (The "fu manchu" is left over from last year's playoffs.) He's in enemy territory - SAN FRANCISCO - so he obviously needs to show his pride!

Gordon in Scotland is ready for the big game on Sunday! CAW CAW

I went to get a burrito today from Big City Burrito on campus, and the cashier was a Ravens fan! Stoked I'm not the only one at Anschutz to rock the Ravens!

I posted this at the beginning of the play-offs, before we stomped all over the two best quarterbacks in the league. Looks like MY hope for 2013 came true! (Other hopes: sleep, a clue, money, an early spring, more jigsaw puzzles for the office.)

Should anyone else reading this want to get in on the Purple Friday love, just email me your picture, and I'll add it here. :D

Everyone Wants to be Ray-Ray

The ending of this video from Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update" made me tear up with laughter at work. I always used to joke that when Ray-Ray was ready to retire from playing football, he'd sack a quarterback so hard that he'd turn into dust and float away in the breeze to end the game in a victory. This is pretty good too.



Thanks to my friend Kelsey for sharing this lovely little gem with me:


From this article in The Baltimore Sun

Murder was the Case That They Gave Him

Quick link about the 5 Common Misconceptions about Ray Lewis' Murder Trial.

I was originally going to write an opus trying to explain what Ray Lewis meant to the city of Baltimore, but I decided against it. People who live outside the city, people who truly believe that Ray is nothing but a murderer who got a get-out-of-jail-free card, and people who think he's "overrated" (which is, in my opinion, ridiculous) would barely skim the entry and say that I'm just another rabid Ravens fan. I've drunk the Kool-Aid too many times. I'm making excuses for a man who played a key part in robbing citizens of their lives. Perhaps that's all true; perhaps I'm just more willing to give someone a second chance who has proved over and over and over again that he understands what he did wrong and has tried to atone for that sin every second of the day, not for publicity reasons, but because he wants to make it right.

When I posted the link on my Facebook page, this is the blurb I included with it:

"I'm SO SICK of people (mostly non-Ravens fans) going on and on about Ray being a "murderer." Our country doesn't believe in rehabilitation obviously, and everyone seems to overlook the ENORMOUS amount of good that Ray has done for his colleagues in the NFL and for the citizens of Baltimore City. He's not doing it as part of a plea deal or a way to get back into everyone's good graces; he's doing it because he grew up, realized the horrible mistakes he made and the horrible consequences of those mistakes, and became a better man because of it."

My Mom is Adorable

You all may recall that my mom is a big Ravens fan. She works for a health care billing company, and to boost company morale, they always have special events like picnics, costume contests for Halloween, and Purple Fridays and Mondays during football season.

For the days leading up to the Ravens-Patriots game, her office decorated their cubicle areas by department and had a "contest" of sorts as to who had the best decorations. Here is the winning department, and some pictures of my mom and her friends.

How awesome is this?! Not pictured: a chunk of turf, like Ray picks up during his entrance out of the tunnel

"Me and my Twin" (Mom and her work friend Terri)

Mom, I don't think you're fully prepared to block for Joe Flacco in that position!

View from my mom's cubicle

Tailgating Our Way to Victory!

The Ravens fans from all over the world (thanks, Gordon, for letting me be able to say this!) gathered at 10:00am MST on the day of the big game to tailgate in the parking lot of a Baptist church a couple of blocks away from Sports Authority Field at Mile High. (Because blasphemy is the best.) As you already know, the day was gray and cold as a witch's tit (to use an underutilized idiom). That didn't stop us from playing cornhole, blasting some phat beats (including some Baltimore club music), chugging beer and booze, and huddling around the few heaters in the lot for warmth.

Good turn-out! There were even more people than pictured here.

Oh, thermal jackets. How I wish I owned one of you.

Cornhole!

Victory!!

Our "invisible" DJ? ;)

S-s-s-so c-c-c-cold-d-d...

Meatballs, crab cakes, and other hot foods provided by Captn Crabby

The next group of pictures are of some of our fans, getting drunk* and pumped for the game.

*The pregnant lady in this photo is obviously ONLY getting pumped, NOT drunk.

Pictured: Steve (back left), Sarah (front left), and Amy (right)

We're #1!!

One of these things is not like the others...hint: it's the dude in the Ngata jersey instead of the Ray jersey. ;)

My bro James is in the back in the O's hat! <3

Maggie with a COMPLETELY LEGAL beverage in a stylish brown paper bag.

We're a welcoming, open-minded group (except to Steelers fans), so we allowed these Broncos fans to hang out with us.

Reppin' the purple in a sea of orange

The only team that mattered to us that day. <3

An Important Message from the Baltimore City Police Department

My friend Kelsey lives and works in some sketch parts of Baltimore, so she receives email alerts from the po-po whenever something goes down in her selected hoods. This video arrived through that official email service the other day, and I've been saving it for today.

Shawn told me I'm (once again) the only one who put any faith in the Ravens to win this game. Fingers crossed my faith is rewarded.

Best Friends and Betting

As always, the Ravens are underdogs in their latest game. They're returning once more to Foxboro for another shot at becoming the AFC champions.

While Troy admits that he supports Mr. Lewis as a friend and competitor, he's making a "smart bet" by putting his money on the Patriots. Here's hoping Troy loses his money on Sunday.

Pre-PRE-Game Party - Ravens Fans Edition

Last weekend Ravens fans from all over - Colorado, Utah, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Maryland, Delaware, Pennsylvania, and Scotland! - met at Stoney's Full Steam Tavern in downtown Denver to party hard. In addition to our usual Denver crew, we had a large contingent of fans fly in from Baltimore through the social group BMORE Around Town. Some of the fans even made it onto ABC 2 News in Baltimore. (My scene was, unfortunately, cut, which is balls, considering putting a girl in a pandahat on television would be AWESOME.) Behold the craziness of some of the best fans on earth.

The front bar, which ended up being PACKED by the end of the night

Small part of the back bar. It was also packed, but mostly with fans from out of town

Gordon, our Scottish superfan, was one of the people who made the news broadcast (obviously!)

 

Speaking of news broadcasts, this is the videographer who filmed an interview I did with ABC 2 News (the video of which I can't find, much to my frustration) about my role in convincing the Baltimore Orioles to make an anti-bullying video for the "It Gets Better" campaign. We thought we recognized each other, but the story was filmed a couple of years ago, and pandahat can be an excellent disguise.

Time to party!!

Steve, my adorable novio (in theory, that shirt is purple; it doesn't show well in the picture)

I have no idea WTF is going on in this picture.

Dave and Caroline, two of our Denver regulars

Rockin' the Joe Flacco jersey from his time at the University of Delaware (Go Blue Hens!)

Hannah is Dave's girlfriend; they actually met through the Ravens group! Here were are showing off our matching Ravens scarves.

Charlie is our youngest member and one of the greatest cornhole players our Denver group has.

For organizing all of our Ravens activities through the seasons, including the AWESOME "home game" weekend, the group present Nicci, a.k.a. "Mama Bird", with a Certificate of Appreciation.

Bill is second-in-command of the Denver group and also received a Certificate of Appreciation.

Here I am congratulating Bill with an awesome selfie.

I was given an award too - a Team Spirit Award for "Most Intense" (although I maintain that I should have been "Loudest" and our friend James "Most Intense")

When they asked me what superlative Steve should get on his Team Spirit Award, I suggested (and it was agreed) that he get "Most Patience."

We had to use Maggie's long(er than mine) arms to take this sweet selfie of us. She and I ALWAYS sit next to each other at the bar during games. We're intense like that.

INFILTRATED BY THE ENEMY!!

WE'RE COMING FOR YOU, NEW ENGLAND!!