Friday, October 12, 2012

Keepin' up with the Kids


Transcript

Troy: "Mr. Lewis, I hear that your weight loss has made it difficult for you to hold up against the run. Is that true?"

Ray: "TROY, MAN, I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING TO KEEP UP WITH THESE KIDS, BUT THEY'RE TOO FAST! I'VE GAINED MUSCLE, LOST WEIGHT, PAID T.O. $100 TO LET ME CHASE HIM, RUN THROUGH QUICKSAND, AND EVEN ATE A CHEETAH - BONES, FUR, AND ALL - TO GET ITS SPEED! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!"

Troy: "Retire?"

Ray: "YOU'RE ONE TO TALK!!"

James Harrison: "JAMES MISS TROY!"

Troy: "I miss you too, Mr. Harrison."

Troy is simply pointing out what everyone in the NFL is whispering. "Ray's lost a step." "He shouldn't have lost all that weight." "The Ravens are the 29th-ranked defense in the league because Ray isn't the force he used to be."

Ray, however, doesn't listen to the criticism. He's a team player, first and foremost, and believes that while there's still room for improvement, his team has a winning record, and in terms of things like the race to the Super Bowl, that's what matters this early in the season.

PS: Shawn has decided that he likes the addition of little James Harrison has a non-sequitor-spewing, Hulk-talking guest star. So until we get bored of him, he'll be sticking around for a while.

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