Thursday, September 26, 2013

Sweet Pea Ain't So Sweet

Big Ben: "What's that, Ray?"**
Ray Lewis: "Wow, Ben, in my day Sweet Pea wouda got what she deserved! Tips!"
Big Ben: "C'mon, Ray! That's not even right."
Ray Lewis: "What? I mean from the Ravens' upcoming opponents!"
Big Ben: "Badump Bump!"

**I have no idea what order Shawn meant for this dialogue to go, so I just kinda winged it.

By now, I'm sure you've all heard the story of Ravens player (and Dancing with the Stars sensation) Jacoby Jones getting hit in the head with a champagne bottle by a stripper named Sweet Pea on a party bus while celebrating teammate Bryant McKinney's birthday. (This first link is my FAVORITE about the news, mainly because the headline is SO misleading about the content to come.) Jacoby has "apologized" about the incident without really apologizing. Torrey Smith pointed out that this is a non-story (while building a house for Habitat for Humanity! Why isn't THAT being talked about?!), and the media should just move on. And Ray Lewis, never one to shy from offering an opinion that brings the story back around to him, blames a lack of leadership after his retire and Ed Reed's move to the Texans for Jacoby's Wild Night.

For those interested, this is what Baltimore's strippers look like:

Keep it classy, Bmore & Ravens.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

James Harrison: Man of Many Emotions

We all know that James Harrison isn't right in the head. (Note: this is a mostly satirical piece. Although that pic at the top is AWESOME.) His teammates and colleagues around the league all know it. You know it; I know it. The internet especially knows it. Here are two memes I've found about him that I love.

Tee shirt that I NEED to own based on an actual photo of Harrison

Relevant to yesterday's entry

But then Shawn sent me a beautiful video that shows the softer side of James and reveals that he's actually a human being that can feel emotions and make real connections with other humans.

His quiet, "I miss him" pretty much broke my little bleeding heart.

Monday, September 16, 2013

James Smash Ben!

Big Ben: "AW MAAAAN! I gotta play HARRISON ON MONDAY? I'm gonna die!"
James Harrison, defying gravity: "BenGAl KITeY has cLAwS! bENgal sMaSH!"
Troy: "You see, Ben, when chance meets opportunity, opportunity should run for the sideline."
Ray, handsome as always: "YO! HOW DO MY TEETH LOOK ON TV?"

RvT has an all-new look! In that Ray's no longer in uniform, and I have multiple pictures I plan on using for Troy. This is his "One does not simply walk into Mordor" expression for when he gives advice.

Shawn's take on our characters' reactions to Ben's lament isn't quite what I had in mind, but it's probably much better. My idea was just to have everyone tell Ben he was going to die. :p

The Bengals beat the Steelers, although since I was watching Dollhouse on Netflix, I don't know what the final score was. I could Google it, but it's late, and I want to go to bed. I'll have another entry tomorrow morning anyway, so I'll save some other material for then. For now, I'll drift off to sleep and dream of laughing at Shawn because his team is 0-2 and huddled with the Browns at the bottom of the AFC North.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Nikki Post: LOL

I was cleaning up my "Ray vs. Troy" folder on my computer when I found this picture. I don't think I posted it back when we were doing the play-off/Super Bowl pool, which is a pity because it's AWESOME. I won the office pool by a ludicrous margin because I was the ONLY person who picked the Ravens through everything! I even managed to get some of the spreads correct! Oh, sweet succulent victory. I shit-talked to everyone in our group, ESPECIALLY the IT Director, who was in second place but had won the year before.

Here we see Shawn giving me my winnings. I WAS going to have a picture of me "making it rain," but ultimately I wanted to get a picture of Shawn being sad giving me all that sweet, sweet, sweet cash. What did I do with the money? I'll be damned if I remember. Probably bought several rounds of drinks for friends or took mi novio out to dinner.

Jesus...what other Super Bowl photos did I not publish? are a few. What the hell.

Doing a (disgusting-tasting) purple vodka shot with my bartender Amy
KIND of a big deal at the game

Troy is such a sweet man! Always supportive

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Nikki Post: GOOD NEEEWWWWWS, Everyone!

Oh, what's that? Someone's got tickets to see the RUMBLE OF THE SEASON ON THANKSGIVING DAY??!?!? While other suckers will be eating turkey and watching the Cowboys and Lions lose on Thanksgiving, husband (yay! I'm married now!) Steve and I are going to the game! My daddy has been working for MONTHS to get these tickets. When he finally did, I made the mistake of asking him how he got them. Daddy reminded me that I shouldn't ask questions about such things. It's the number one rule for Italian men: don't ask questions if you're not willing to perjure yourself about the answers.

This is the best wedding present EVER.

AFC North: A Clusterf*ck of a Division

The first week of NFL football was a complete wreck, at least for fans of the teams of the AFC North. The Ravens were CLOBBERED by the Broncos. I was at that game, and all I could do was laugh. Nothing was going right for us, and Peyton and his receivers were throwing the ball over our defense like they were eighth graders, and our guys were fifth graders. Mile High was a dangerous and hostile place to be if you weren't a Broncos fan.

I was able to take solace in one beautiful fact though: while the Ravens lost to a future hall-of-famer, the Steelers lost to the TENNESSEE TITANS at their home stadium in Pittsburgh! They also lost four of their starters to injuries. It was basically a banner day for a loser who's less of a loser than other losers.