Time to UnRAYtire

Ray: "ARRRRGHHH! THIS SEASON IS AWFUL! I'M GONNA UNRETIRE AND TAKE THE TEAM TO THE SUPER BOWL AGAIN!"
Troy: "How so, Mr. Lewis? Do you think you can play on the offensive line this time around?"

Whenever a team is doing poorly, talking heads and fans scramble to find someone to blame. I asked my husband Steve and one of my best friends Zack for their opinions about what's going wrong with the Ravens.

Steve: [Offensive Coordinator Jim Caldwell] keeps calling plays like the offensive line is competent. They were better last game. They finally called some draw plays that I had been screaming for all season, and they worked. They ran the ball to the outside. Joe rolled out to his right sometimes instead of trying to stay in the pocket. Even though the field was a mess and Chicago’s defense is pretty good, it worked. They should have been doing that all season and hopefully they will continue to do it.

Zack: [Offensive Line Coach Andy Moeller] decided to install a new blocking scheme after the old one won us a Super Bowl.  I know there were personnel changes too, but the talent is still there, so I think the o-line coaching is to blame for a lot of our offensive struggles. Well, that combined with [Cam] Cameron-esque play calling, which I can only imagine is the result of Harbaugh telling Caldwell that he wants to run this type of offense.

Apparently, I'm not the only one who thinks Ray Lewis wishes he could go back to the game...

 Not as good as the Madden ads w/him and Paul Rudd though

I Don't Think That's What Troy Meant, Mr. Lewis...

Transcript:

Troy: "Mr. Lewis and Mrs. uhm..RaNikki? What do you think the Ravens are going to do in the first round?"
Ray: "DRAFT?! I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S ON TAP! LOL!"
RaNikki: "I think we're going to draft a sassy Italian girl from Baltimore!"

It appears that Ray has no more fucks to give about anything football related. It also appears that I'm going to be a lineback for the Ravens (if they're smart!).

NOTE: I'm not yet a "Mrs." I'm getting married in August. <3

NIKKI vs. Troy?!?!

I can't wait until Shawn comes in tomorrow morning and sees this.

 

Shawn's reaction (the next day): "No. You're not allowed to play football." 

The Long Goodbye

Shawn is very pleased that he has a four-day weekend. I don't know how he'll be spending his free time, but I'm going to guess that short of having brain surgery or spending a long time in an MRI machine, it's going to be better than dealing with IT problems (mostly "user error" of course) all day. We wish him a happy vacation.

Side note: Ray is selling his mansion in Florida. It has something like seven bathrooms and nine bedrooms. My question is...why wouldn't you have the same number of bedrooms as bathrooms?! It makes no sense.

Everyone Wants to be Ray-Ray

The ending of this video from Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update" made me tear up with laughter at work. I always used to joke that when Ray-Ray was ready to retire from playing football, he'd sack a quarterback so hard that he'd turn into dust and float away in the breeze to end the game in a victory. This is pretty good too.



Thanks to my friend Kelsey for sharing this lovely little gem with me:


From this article in The Baltimore Sun

Pre-PRE-gaming - Broncos Edition

I came to work in my Haloti Ngata jersey today so as to keep up my half of a pinkie-promise that Finance Guy Marshall and I had made last night. Guess who DIDN'T show up in his Broncos jersey?! You NEVER break a pinkie-promise, am I right? I also brought an extra, "professional" purple-and-black outfit to wear in case my Broncos fan boss didn't like my choice of attire; she ended up not caring! So I've been walking the halls and manning the front desk of work rockin' #92. Good day.

I haven't gotten as much crap from coworkers as I thought I would. Many of them ARE members of the Broncos loyal fan base, but we all understand that it's just a football game. My view going into the game: if we win: LOLOLOLOL PEYTON MANNING OH EM GEE WE MIGHT HAVE A SHOT AT THE SUPER BOWL AGAIN YOU GUYS. If we lose: I got to see Ray Lewis's last game in the NFL; that's a special moment.

Here's how my Broncos coworkers dressed up today, and here's the week's final retirement party picture.

Breaker of the pinkie-promise

Kristie, our Facilities lady, bleeds orange

I kept my Purple Power towel (waved at M&T Bank Stadium last season when we swept the Steelers) and Lyndsey's Broncos towels (waved at Mile High this year when they beat the Steelers) at my front desk for most of the morning. Shenanigans ensued.

I later decided to tape them to Shawn's wall. See, it's a subtle put-down of the Steelers.

Shawn's...special

Transcript:

Troy: "Broncos v Ravens? What's it going to come down to? A Ray Rice miracle play? A rookie kicker? A Peyton TD pass at the last minute?"

Ray: "CHINCHILLAS! WE'RE GONNA THROW THEM AT PEYTON! THEIR FUZZINESS WILL DISTRACT HIM, FORCING MISTAKES!"

Amazing Photos from Ray's Last Day at Ravens Stadium

Shawn Hubbard has been a photographer for the Baltimore Ravens for a long time. He's one of the lucky men who does the photo shoots for the cheerleaders calendar. He was asked to take photos during Ray Lewis' final game in M&T Bank Stadium against the Colts. These pictures are beautiful and poignant. I want to purchase prints of several of these beautiful shots. Shawn, on the other hand, rolled his eyes at me when I said that I had forwarded the link to him.

Shawn: "Why do you think I like Ray Lewis and want to look at pictures of him?"
Me: "Because even if you don't like HIM, the photographs themselves are gorgeous! You can appreciate the photography at least..."
Shawn: "No, I can't."

What a Grumpy Cat. >:P

Here's the link for those of you who DO appreciate beautiful photography, regardless of whether or not the subject matter is on your football team: http://shawnhubbard.wordpress.com/2013/01/08/ray-leaving-a-legacy/

This photo is the one I wish I could purchase most. I'm woman enough to admit that it made me tear up a little.

Copyright Shawn Hubbard

RAY DAY 2013

First of all, I don't agree with Shawn assessment that Ray Lewis is leaving a storied, lucrative career in football to be a commentator on Competitive Thumb Wrestling. However, the sentiment is the same - everyone in the NFL is going to miss Ray Lewis. There have been plenty of stories this week and plenty of television retrospectives on his career, legacy, and the great work he's done in the community of Baltimore for the last 17 years.

This week, Shawn and I will be celebrating that legacy with a retirement party for our favorite yelling Raven. Expect an update every day with special guests sending Ray off into the sunset.

One of the many, MANY videos Ravens fans watch/listen to to get jacked the fuck up for game day!

WHAT TIME IS IT?!

RAY TIME!