Fan of the blog Kelsey sent in this picture of Big Ben REALLY rockin' the "Sexy Bumblebee" look:
She found the image on Reddit (of course), so I can't credit the Photoshop wizard who made this delightful, sexy picture, but if s/he finds this post, please know that you have made me very happy. Thank you.
UPDATE: The source of the photo is a Ravens sub-Reddit poster named LadyRavenEye. Muchas gracias!
...because you wanna THROW THEM BACK where they came from! hahahahaha / lolololol / etc.
Transcript:
Ray: "HEY TROY! SORRY YOU MISSED THE CHANCE TO DRESS UP AS A SEXY BUMBLEBEE ON SUNDAY! DID YOU WEAR ANOTHER COSTUME? *snicker*" Troy: "Mr. Lewis. I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but the bee is an important part of the ecosystem and is vital to our planet. And I dressed up as a sexy nurse."
James: "JAmeS giVE STinGeR!"
I've decided to write James as speaking in random letters to solidify the idea that he's hit his head so many times he no longer knows how to communicate like a regular person. (Also, he's got great taste in double entendres and puns.)
For those who missed it, the Steelers played the Redskins in Ketchup Field...er...Heinz Field while wearing yellow-and-black striped jerseys and socks and tan pants. For those of us who can see - in color, especially - it was a horrible thing to behold.
Back-up QB Charlie Batch asks, "What do you think?" The world replies, "No."
As one online blogger put it: "You know it's bad when even The Onion makes fun of your uniforms." (To be fair, I'd think it worse if The Onion DIDN'T make fun of your uniforms. That would mean they were so awful, the fake-newspaper would feel like it was kicking a cancerous puppy while it was slowly gasping its last breath. So don't worry, blogger! Your Steelers are doing just fine!)
Troy: "Mr. Lewis. Do you prefer chocolate or vanilla and who do you think is going to win the AFC?" Ray: "TROY! I LIKE MY ICE CREAM LIKE I LIKE MY WOMEN: CHOCOLATE AND A LITTLE NUTTY! THAT'S WHY I LIKE ROCKY ROAD! IT'S LIKE MY LIFE, TROY: A DELICIOUS ROCKY ROAD TO SUCCESS!"
James: "JAMES WIN AFC!"
I like how Ray skirted the question about who would win the AFC this year by over describing his love of chocolate ice cream. Slick like a politician.
I don't really have any commentary on this link, which I found the other day and KNEW I had to share with all of you. All I'll say is that the picture of Jay Cutler made me laugh for a solid minute and a half.
The Cleveland Browns are the biggest joke in the NFL. I'm pretty sure that even when the Lions had their "perfect season" where they didn't win a single game, they wrote it off as a fluke and told themselves, "Hey, man, at least we're not the Browns."
Browns fans are GREAT at holding a grudge for decades. Like Baltimore Colts fans, Cleveland fans are STILL angry that their team abandoned them, being sold to Baltimore under a new name and eventually winning a Super Bowl a few years later. When the Browns reformed, they just...they weren't the same anymore. (For a more detailed history of the Browns and why they're awful, go to Google.) Their fans - the "dawg pound" - started wearing bags over their heads at games. Games were blacked out IN THEIR OWN CITY. (When the Ravens-Texas game was taken off CBS's national coverage and switched to another game, I drunkenly moaned, "Now I know how Browns fans feel!")
It's bad enough that the city of Cleveland doesn't really have anything going for it, as illustrated by this silly (and catchy) "travel ad":
And this follow-up to the above "Cleveland travel ad":
So yeah. As you can see, no one likes Cleveland. And the fans have really started to give up hope. A Buzzfeed contributor wrote this article, showing how pathetic the most recent Browns game was, using .gifs to illustrate his pain. (The whiffed extra point is my favorite.)
In conclusion, I'm sorry to any Browns fans out there that read this blog. I'm sorry to residents (and former residents) of Cleveland who may be offended. Y'all are an easy target, and here I am, mercilessly kicking you when you're down. But honestly, after the way the Ravens played against the Texans, I need a Charlie Brown to make me feel better about my miserable team.
Anyone who saw Sunday's Ravens game against the Texans knows not to mention the game to Ravens fans. It was...I don't want to say "indescribably bad," because I CAN describe how bad it was, just not in words that can be used in polite company. I'll just say that I got MUCH drunker than I had intended to (ended up snoozing in my car in the bar's parking lot) and took my glasses off after the second quarter. (I need them to see the TV from my perch 10 feet away.)
Fuzzy-eyed, despondent, and furious after my phone died and I could no longer tweet my frustrations (plus, I'm a belligerent drunk), I felt only a sliver of the negative emotions the players must have felt when they realized that their game was absolutely FUBAR.
Imagine being Ray Lewis! He just had surgery and couldn't fly with his team to cheer and coach from the sideline. He's getting on in years, and he knows he isn't playing his best anymore. This year could be his last shot at getting a second Super Bowl ring to adorn his manly hands. Despite the rough beginning to this season, his team is still 5-1, and Sizzle, the explosive soul of the team, is back! Ray knows the Ravens might not win, but he still expects a good, hard-fought, close game.
Then THAT happened.
Who can blame Ray for denying that their game against the Texans ever happened? Certainly not Troy; he's too polite to push the subject any further. Certainly not James; he's too brain dead from years of hard, mostly-illegal hits. I'm surprised he can still speak.
The only comforts the Ravens can take to bed with them at night are that they're still #1 in the AFC North, and...at least they're not the Browns.
