Exciting News!

I left this message for Shawn while he was out to lunch last Tuesday to let him know that I had turned in my letter of resignation, effective March 31st. There are many more things I want to do professionally than be a low-level administrative assistant, so I've decided to tap into my creativity and start my own freelance social media contracting business. Since I graduated from college (almost ten years ago!), I've only ever worked these kinds of jobs where I sit at a front desk and answer phones, order office supplies, and generally not get to do much that interests me or leaves me feeling anything more than exhausted from boredom once I get home. My mantra for the last few years has been "I don't want to die an admin," and for the first time, I'm going to take a leap to make that happen.

This means that the blog will likely end, as I won't be around to make silly conversations on Shawn's white board. If something really exciting happens (like when the Ravens inevitably sweep the Steelers this season!), I might be able to pop into the office to write something, but I don't want to make promises I can't keep. I might be able to update with news about the Ravens and Steelers I think is relevant, but it wouldn't have the same sort of spirit and humor that the blog currently has.

Writing this blog has been a lot of fun, and it's really bittersweet that I'll have to give it up. If you follow me on Twitter (@nikkimarielynx), I'll post there anytime I update.

Until then friends, I remain your loyal fan,
Nikki

Interlude: Marshall and the Case of the Bad Touch

This board tells the story of an embarrassing misunderstanding Marshall had while skiing one weekend.

Marshall and his friend Lori had been skiing most of the day when Lori decided to call it quits. Marshall wanted to get another run in, so they agreed to meet in the lodge at a pizza place after he was done. (See Marshall skiing in the bottom right corner. The snowman is there to establish that he's skiing on snow and not a random wave-like hill.)

Upon entering the lodge, Marshall went looking for Lori. She was wearing a distinctive red hat that Marshall could use to find her if they got separated on the slopes. He saw her - in her red hat with her blonde hair poking through - watching the football game on TV in a different part of the lodge. Thinking that there just hadn't been seating in their original location, Marshall walked up to Lori and wordlessly started giving her a back massage. After a minute or so, she asked who he was....it turns out, it wasn't Lori at all! It was some random woman who happened to have Lori's same hat. She joked that he was lucky her husband wasn't around, and with many sincere apologies, Marshall left to find Lori in the pizza shop area, wondering where he'd been (upper right corner).

The story quickly spread through the office, everyone making sure Marshall told this person and that person, and eventually an artistic interpretation of the incident made its way to Tracy's white board.

Ray Rice in Trouble

Transcript:
Big Ben: "It's the Rays! So guys, quick question. How long before it's illegal to be named "Ray" and play in Baltimore?"
Ray Lewis: "AAH! DON'T MAKE ME UNRETIRE!"
Ray Rice: "..."

By now, anyone who's a Ravens fan, a football fan, or someone who "enjoys" celebrity "gossip" knows about the incident of Ray Rice getting drunk in Atlantic City, allegedly getting into a physical altercation with his fiance, and knocking her unconscious. TMZ released a video showing Ray dragging his unconscious fiance out of an elevator. Attorneys for both parties claim that the video is edited (which, knowing TMZ and the people who give them their "news", could very well be true), and "only shows part of the story." While there's uncertainty about what sort of punishment Ray could receive from law enforcement, the Ravens, and the league, so far top Ravens personnel are saying that Ray won't be released.

(I'd like to mention that the "yards per carry" joke wasn't written by either Shawn or me. A work friend of Shawn's contributed that. He's not the only one making that joke.)

While Shawn and I are using this incident for blog fodder and are commenting on it with tongues firmly implanted in our cheeks, I'd like to go on record and say that I am INCREDIBLY disappointed in Ray Rice. While fans obviously don't know everything about the characters of their favorite players, Ray had always seemed to be a stand-up guy in the past. He has a close relationship with his mother, and he, his fiance, and their daughter have always been seen as a happy family.

I got into a discussion with my friend China and several of her friends on Facebook about whether or not Ray was "justified" in hitting his fiance after she allegedly spit on him first. They were of the belief that spitting on someone is the most degrading thing you can do to a person. China additionally took the stance of "equal rights, equal fights": women want equality with men in every other aspect of their lives except when it comes to having men fight back when women start physical altercations. If the fiance started something, she should have been prepared to finish it. I pointed out that a small woman like her hitting a big guy like Ray wouldn't (and obviously didn't) do as much damage as Ray hitting her back and that it was an unfair fight. We reached a stalemate, agreeing that the incident wasn't something we wanted one of our favorite athletes to be known for, but that we wouldn't see eye to eye about whether or not Ray was justified in his actions.

It will be interesting to see how the league handles this off-field, especially considering their previous lack of involvement in punishing players for misconduct in the past. For now, I know that Ray and the Ravens are hoping the Combine will take some of the spotlight off of them.

Valentine's Day

Angry Troy & Angry Ray have a very odd way of showing affection to one another, but at least it's coming from a place of mutual respect. I wonder if Regular Troy got anyone Valentine's Day gifts? He seems like the type to send at least a thoughtful card.

Speaking of....

I had some cards of my own to hand out!

The adorable puppy and kitty cards were VERY popular with my coworkers.

I hope you all were able to celebrate love and affection, even if it involved (appropriate, consensual) tackling.

Nikki Post - Apology

Hey everyone, I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a while. My husband and I just bought our first home, so between that and work ramping up with things to do, I haven't had time to post the excellent things that Shawn and I have been coming up with this off-season. Unfortunately, Ray Rice gave us something to write about lately, so we've got two posts about that. I'm just going to post them all in succession to get them out of the way while they're still barely relevant; don't forget to check out the "archives" list on the right side of the blog page.

Thanks for your patience!
Nikki

Well, That was Unexpected

For obvious reasons, we had to write this, take the picture, and immediately erase it before someone in the school noticed that we had a character on Shawn's office's door cursing out someone else's mother. We had another idea for a "Troy's Anger Translator" post, but ultimately deemed it too "not okay" for publication. Let's just say that Shawn and I got a lot of laughs out of it.

These types of post will probably be showing up every now and then as "filler" during the off-season, which is approaching entirely too soon. We'd also like to get Ray an Anger Translator, as the idea of it also made Shawn and me giggle maniacally.

This is SportsCenter...These are Feuding Airports

Only a few more days left, boys...

BONUS HILARITY!
The Twitter account for Denver International Airport has been going at it all week with the Twitter account for Seattle's Sea-Tac Airport. It's been pretty great to follow.

Sick burn example, DIA:

Hey @SeaTacAirport - stop by Elway's on B Concourse for food, drink, and the Lombardi trophy #SB48 #Broncos http://t.co/wSbGQ0gRj9
— Denver Int'l Airport (@DENAirport) January 30, 2014

Sea-Tac puts its rep on the line:

Game on @DENAirport Loser of #SB48 must fly the flag of opposing team in public for 24 hrs #BlueWillLookGreatAtDIA http://t.co/2kvlMcpjl2
— Sea-Tac Airport (@SeaTacAirport) January 27, 2014

Talk Softly & Carry A Big Head of Hair

Translation:

Troy: "As you can imagine, I am very upset that the Steelers are once again not in the Super Bowl. I don't wish to offend anyone by expressing my opinion on the matter, so I'll let my Anger Translator, On-Field Troy, do my speaking for me."

On-Field Troy: "Super Bowl? SUPER BOWL! This ain't no Super Bowl without the Steelers! Yo mamma makes a better Super Bowl after eating a gas station burrito than this!"

Yes. That word in the picture IS "better" and not "butter." The idea of a Super Bowl made of butter is hilarious and intriguing, but not what Shawn was going for.

Rumor has it that sketch comics Key & Peele got their idea for Obama's Anger Translator Luther from Troy Polamalu. I'm sure Troy was nice enough to let them use the idea without crediting him.

I've never heard Polamalu raise his voice. All over my tv. RT @LesIzMore Being a quiet defensive NFL player doesn’t get you commercials
— D'Brickashaw (@DragonflyJonez) January 22, 2014

@DragonflyJonez @LesIzMore he can't raise his voice though. He talks like Michael Jackson.
— jessica danielle (@NFLGoodwitch) January 22, 2014

@DragonflyJonez Polamalu was #6 in top marketing NFL players in 2012 http://t.co/RWRgvyxZJn
— Gold Solid Gold (@GoffSolid) January 22, 2014

@DragonflyJonez Head & Shoulders commercials= his hair is loud
— Ronnie Dumagpi (@RonEDumagpi) January 22, 2014

While Troy is a lovely human being off the field, doing charity work, mentoring younger players, and donating organs to those in need, Troy ON field is a dangerous beast without any sense of morals, integrity, or respect for human life. See the videos below for a few examples of how the big-haired veteran we know and love can turn into a monster for 60 minutes every Sunday.

Much like a football-playing Superman, Troy can jump offensive lines in a single bound.

Sometimes Troy's Anger Translator gets a little...TOO intense...

Head & Shoulders isn't the only product that Troy feels passionate about!

Horses Vs Birds

I confess: I'm not entirely certain who I want to win the Super Bowl. On the one hand, I don't care because the Ravens aren't playing, and I'm not particularly emotionally invested in either team. On the other hand, I usually root for the underdog in Super Bowls not featuring my team, and that would be the Seahawks this year. On the first foot/third hand, the Broncos are my city's team, and I do love me some Peyton Manning. I have several Broncos fans who would be overjoyed at their team winning the Super Bowl for the first time since 1998; I like those people, and I want them to be as happy as I was last year. (I will NEVER be that happy ever again.)

I'm pathetically, hopelessly dead last in the work playoff pool this year after having won it all taking my team in every game for big points. One of the women in the pool didn't even play last week, and I'm STILL behind her!! I plan on letting my dog make my picks for this one. I'll be filming it and will obviously post it here for all to see.

So I guess I'll just cheer for both teams but say that the Broncos will win the Super Bowl this year.

No One Cares About the Pro Bowl

Ray Lewis is in the top ten of NFL players who have been to the most Pro Bowls in their careers. With 13 appearances as of 2012 (he obviously didn't play the year the Ravens went to - AND WON - the Super Bowl), he's tied for second with greats such as Jerry Rice and Reggie White. Players old and young were excited to have him on their team; he mentored them, joked with them, and soaked up the Hawaiian sun with his teammates and colleagues.

It's one thing not to play in a Pro Bowl because you're preparing for Super Bowl Sunday, but how will Ray feel about not playing in one because he's retired? Antsy? Relieved?

Deion Sanders, one of the "captains" of the two Pro Bowl teams (along with Jerry Rice), tweeted that he was going to "suit up" for the game, despite the fact that the NFL repeatedly and vehemently denied that this was true. (Apparently, the bigwigs don't have a sense of humor.) Frankly, I think this would be hilarious. "Prime Time" was a flamboyant and talented player, and having him play would actually make the Pro Bowl worth watching. Let's face it: people only have the game on to get a football fix before the REAL bowl, and even then, they only have it on as background noise.

Too Much Free Time

For the first time in five years, the Ravens aren't going to the playoffs. Frankly, we didn't deserve to win. We played like shit all year on all sides of the ball (except the Justin Tucker side, a.k.a. "the sexiest side of the ball"), and the fact that Andy Dalton threw FOUR PICKS and STILL got his team the division championship is [expletive deleted] ludicrous. But that was 2013; today is the second day of a shiny new year. A year when we'll hopefully fire (out of a cannon) Michael Oher, the most penalized player in the NFL. (Scroll about 2/3 down to find the stats; I can't direct link to it.) A year when we find a way to create an offensive line that keeps our (overpaid?) quarterback from ending up flat on his back like a high school kid on prom night. A year...sorry, I zoned out there, thinking about how happy I was a year ago. How full of hope and excitement that maybe - just maybe - this would be our year. *sigh* Those days seem like a lifetime ago.

ANYWAY...

I've found myself with an abundance of time this January during Sunday afternoons and evenings. I plan on visiting some places in Colorado I've never been to, maybe catch up on my reading, walk my dog a little bit more. I don't really have any team that I want to go all the way more than others. I'm basically rooting for everyone who plays the Broncos and the Patriots. One and done, baby. That's all I want. Shawn told me that someone had asked him if he'd finally root for the Broncos this year. His reply: "I'd rather root for ball cancer."

Me: "If I had a dollar for every time someone in the Ravens bar screamed, 'Hurry the fuck up, Joe!' at the TV, I could buy a pile of coke the size of this building."

Shawn: "You know who DOES have a dollar for every time someone's yelled that? Joe Flacco."

*rimshot* Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Goodnight.

Playoff Hopes and Dreams

The time for participation in my work's playoff pool has arrived, but so far only three people (myself obviously included) have signed up. Shawn said that if we don't get more people by tomorrow, he will have to cancel the pool. I asked him to forward this to the other invitees, as he had bcc'd everyone, so I couldn't email them directly.


Dear fellow playoff pool members,

I understand that last year was a difficult one for all of you. I rode the dark horse all the way to the Super Bowl and playoff pool victory and didn’t even have the courtesy of buying you all drinks. (My credit card balance, however, felt that I had made the right choice.) This year, however, my beloved Ravens aren’t in the playoffs, so it seems that you will all have a good shot at winning. Remember, my first year here saw me getting a pathetically low amount of points, as I had no team to believe in. I find myself in a similar position this year. My only dreams remaining are that the Broncos and the Patriots will be sitting at home on Super Bowl Sunday, watching the same commercials I am and wondering when their lives went so terribly, terribly wrong.

So I implore all of you to join in the fun again this year so we can keep the tradition of mocking Shawn’s single-digit final score alive. Without a high number of participants, Shawn will cancel the playoff pool, and I’ll find myself devoid of any interest in football on Sundays for the remainder of the month. Please, give me something to live for; my Ravens certainly didn’t this season.

Sincerely,
Nikki Cimino
Reigning Playoff Pool Champion

Sthufferin' Sthafford!

The Ravens NEEDED to win their game against the Lions in order to have a shot at the AFC Wildcard spot. Hell, they have to win ALL their games from now on to have any realistic playoff dreams whatsoever. Of the 9 Monday Night Football analysts, only 4 chose the Ravens to win, including Fearless Leader Ray Lewis. (Top contender for "World's Worst QB with a Super Bowl Ring" Trent Dilfer did NOT chose the Ravens, which meant the Ravens fans at the bar loudly booed him.)

Things were NOT looking good for the Players in Purple when it became obvious that the offense couldn't get into the end zone; it was as if they were allergic to touchdowns & success. Luckily, the Ravens have something the Lions don't have - Justin Motha Fuckin' Tucker, the greatest kicker in the NFL. JTuck was the only one putting points on our half of the scoreboard all night. Our defense had 2 key interceptions (including one that sealed the victory), but Joe and the boys couldn't close the deal. Ravens fans continued drinking heavily. At the end of the game, the Lions were up by 2. The Ravens charged down field but once again failed to deliver as Joe threw 3 incomplete passes. Rather than give his exceptionally high-paid franchise QB another shot, John Harbaugh put the Three-man Wolfpack on the field. The game was in Justin Tucker's legs.

My fan friends at the bar closed in on me, furiously rubbing the pandahat on my head for good luck, all of us looking through our fingers. I had no doubt of JTuck's abilities; I somehow knew the kick would be good, even as I feared its potential failure.

Morgan Cox with the snap. Sam Koch gets the ball laces out. Justin Tucker kicks. The pigskin goes sailing towards the Lions' uprights, dangerously leaning far right. Closer...closer...closer...OH GOD! Like a sweet, body-shuddering orgasm, the ball JUST cleared the right goal post! The kick is good! The Ravens win the game!! THE RAVENS WIN THE GAME!!

The Lions were not as happy as I was.

Justin Tucker is the 1st kicker in NFL history to make a FG from distances in the 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's & 60's. pic.twitter.com/bxcbPo5BDb

— FOX Sports Live (@FOXSportsLive) December 17, 2013

 **Addendum to this tweet: He's the first to "kick for the cycle" in a single game!**

Uh oh looks like someone updated Wikipedia pic.twitter.com/jpN1M3LweQ
— Tim Gilman (@TIMinBALTIMORE) December 17, 2013

They changed it back, unfortunately.

RT @SportsCenter: Crazy Stat of the Day: Justin Tucker kicked 248 yds worth of field goals, 13 more than Matthew Stafford's 235 yds passing
— Baltimore Ravens (@Ravens) December 17, 2013

Justin was understandably cocky about the whole experience: http://www.baltimoreravens.com/news/article-1/Justin-Tucker-Happy-For-Fantasy-Owners/

To end this blog, I'll leave you with some fantastic conversation blurbs I had with my friends. Enjoy!

Me: "I'm thinking that we need to take money from Flacco and give it to Justin Tucker."

Zack: "Hahaha! The evidence supporting that is insurmountable."

Me: "Steve had to explain to me how 'contracts' and 'paying kickers' works."

Me: "Twitter is calling him 'Legatron'."

Tia:  "Best name ever. Beats Megatron, who dropped three passes yesterday and did shit for the Lions."

Me: "I know! Everyone at the bar kept yelling, 'OLLLLLDDDD MAAAANNN'."

Tia:  "Give him a break. He might have forgotten to take his Metamucil or Centrum Silver. Jimmy Mutha fuckin' Smith, blockin' Calvin Johnson like Kanye blocked Taylor Swift at the VMAs!"

Lament of the IT Professional

Shawn receives computer parts all day long. If he doesn't visit me at the front desk to pick them up, I make sure that Ray and Troy let him know that the packages are safe in their care.

The Internet Never Forgets

There are always three games on Thanksgiving Day: one with the Lions, one with the Cowboys, and then a night game that actually matters and entertains the nation. For two years in a row, the Baltimore Ravens have had the honor of being in the Game That Matters. In 2012, the nation got to watch a preview of Super Bowl 47 (to hell with Roman numerals) as big brother John Harbaugh's Ravens stomped baby brother Jim's 49ers two months before The Big Game. In 2013, the Ravens embarrassed the Steelers (not really, as there were a LOT of fundamentals that the Ravens needed to work on NOT screwing up, but let me have this one) in Baltimore to a crowd that righteously chanted "TOMLIN SUCKS" when Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin interfered with Jacoby Jones' amazing kick-off return run that SHOULD/WOULD have ended in a touchdown.

Even though he was fined by the league and put the Steelers' draft picks in jeopardy, Mike Tomlin wasn't done being reviled for his "blunder," as he repeatedly put it.

The Ravens were playing the Vikings in a snowy, rainy, slushy, cold, miserable Baltimore. The day was made MORE miserable by the fact that the Ravens were playing like snowmen with sticks for arms instead of actual human arms. But what to our wondering eyes should appear, but JACOBY JONES RUNNING IN ANOTHER KICK-OFF RETURN FOR A TOUCHDOWN!!

(Source)

It was one of those games that makes football fans keep a defibrillator handy: in the final minutes of the game, the Vikings and Ravens traded FOUR TOUCHDOWNS IN 82 SECONDS. I was listening on my Ravens app, having chosen to stay home from the bar, and I can't decide if it was better or worse that I didn't have to see everything happen in front of me. I got to see the last touchdown of the day and frightened my dog by screaming with joy in the empty apartment.

If you thought Twitter wouldn't explode in snarky tweets about Jones finally getting to make the play he SHOULD have been able to make on Thanksgiving, then you don't know the internet very well at all. Here's a sampling:

No coach to block Jacoby Jones this time...
— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) December 8, 2013

Professional burnnnn

Jacoby Jones couldn't do that if I was there
— Evil Mike Tomlin (@EvilMikeTomlin) December 8, 2013

Popular parody account burnnnn

Glad Leslie Frazier didn't pull a Tomlin.
— Joe Flacco's Ego (@FlaccosEgo) December 8, 2013

Fake Flacco burnnnn

Jacoby Jones has returned 6 kickoffs for 256 yards & 1TD over the past two games, producing a 42.7-yard average. #Ravens
— Patrick Gleason (@PMGleason) December 8, 2013

How you like dem facts dair, hawn?

@Artj97 your reaction to @TheRealJacoby12 kick return is priceless. http://t.co/QnXBjIDrF5
— Cody (@Ledshaman) December 8, 2013

Arthur Jones' reaction speaks volumes for us all

Jacoby Jones on the crazy final two minutes of the game: "You couldn't even really get emotional. It was too confusing." #Ravens #Vikings
— Luke Jones (@BaltimoreLuke) December 8, 2013

The man of the hour speaks

Ravens vs lolJets

Troy: "Mr. Lewis, It's a big week for our division! 3 teams have a shot at a wild card and 1 week from now, likely only 1 team will be left in that race. Which team do you think it will be?"
Ray: "TROY, LOYALTY MAKES ME WANNA SAY THE RAVENS, BUT WE BOTH KNOW THAT MIGHT NOT HAPPEN. THE SMART MONEY SAYS MY SON RAY III AND I WILL WIN IN A HUGE UPSET!"

I'm trying to take this season one game at a time, which is the only way I can prevent myself from becoming an alcoholic one day a week. (There's a reason I barely drink in the off-season. Friends like to tell other people who don't know me that I'm regenerating my liver between the Super Bowl and the pre-season.) I had a good reason to believe that the Ravens would beat the Jets, mainly because...well...they're the Jets. But the "any given Sunday" rule has been applying more and more this season, so I'll admit that I went into the bar with some trepidation.

Our offense was playing pretty well (relatively speaking), so I found myself actually staying sober, which was a nice change of pace. Ed Reed, however, seemed like he had some kind of vendetta against his old team members, which isn't surprising. He's Ed Reed; he always has a chip on his shoulder.

Jets S Ed Reed levels Ravens WR Jacoby Jones (GIF) http://t.co/9s9DcjZwX1
— ZombieProphet (@ZProphet_MMA) November 24, 2013

You could practically feel Jacoby's pain when Ed laid him out in the end zone.

WATCH Jacoby Jones' 66-yard touchdown catch over Ed Reed! | http://t.co/OwthjkP8u1 pic.twitter.com/rRMB3S8FMf
— Baltimore Ravens (@Ravens) November 24, 2013

But Jacoby got back at Ed by SMOKING him for a 66-yard touchdown later in the game!

Watch @TheRealJacoby12's first TD dance of the season, a nod to @DancingABC! VIDEO | http://t.co/Ivc9oXkiWO
— Baltimore Ravens (@Ravens) November 25, 2013

Then he did a dance inspired by his time on Dancing with the Stars. (His shit-eating grin after the first replay is my favorite part of the whole video.)

After the game, Ed Reed spoke to the press about how he thought the game went:

“Ed Reed: ‘It was a great football game and we had some fun.’ OK, Ed. If you say so.”

—@BrianCoz, Jets beat man Brian Costello of the New York Post, relaying one of the Bizarre Quotes of the Season from a football player. The Jets were embarrassed in Baltimore, their quarterback performed like a person stepping on a football field for the first time, they played haplessly for the second straight week, and they fell into the mire of AFC playoff mediocrity after holding a wild-card spot for the last three weeks.

(Via Monday Morning Quarterback)

I leave you now with an incredible fact about dreamy Ravens kicker and future 2013 team MVP Justin Tucker (seen in that video being badass as hell):

Justin Tucker, kicker, Baltimore. On a frigid day (20 degrees wind chill) kicking in a 26-mph crosswind, Tucker, the most efficient kicker in NFL history (minimum 50 made field goals) converted on field goals from 30, 26, 33 and 53 yards in the 19-3 rout of the woeful Jets. For his career, the University of Texas kicker is 54 of 59, a conversion rate of 91.5%.
(Via Monday Morning Quarterback)

Ed Reed Burns Bridges

Ed Reed has been talking smack since he started playing in the NFL. He doesn't give any fucks and makes sure that everyone knows it. He's a notorious media whore and has gotten in "trouble" multiple times for criticizing players and coaches he thinks are doing a poor job while never recognizing that he struggles with the same faults as many of the people he's insulting. This time, he's mouthing off about Texans' defensive coordinator Wade Phillips, specifically that Ed was fired because he told everyone that Phillips sucks.

Click the pic below to read the article about it.

I chose this picture because I really like his "Kanye Shrug".

Time to UnRAYtire

Ray: "ARRRRGHHH! THIS SEASON IS AWFUL! I'M GONNA UNRETIRE AND TAKE THE TEAM TO THE SUPER BOWL AGAIN!"
Troy: "How so, Mr. Lewis? Do you think you can play on the offensive line this time around?"

Whenever a team is doing poorly, talking heads and fans scramble to find someone to blame. I asked my husband Steve and one of my best friends Zack for their opinions about what's going wrong with the Ravens.

Steve: [Offensive Coordinator Jim Caldwell] keeps calling plays like the offensive line is competent. They were better last game. They finally called some draw plays that I had been screaming for all season, and they worked. They ran the ball to the outside. Joe rolled out to his right sometimes instead of trying to stay in the pocket. Even though the field was a mess and Chicago’s defense is pretty good, it worked. They should have been doing that all season and hopefully they will continue to do it.

Zack: [Offensive Line Coach Andy Moeller] decided to install a new blocking scheme after the old one won us a Super Bowl.  I know there were personnel changes too, but the talent is still there, so I think the o-line coaching is to blame for a lot of our offensive struggles. Well, that combined with [Cam] Cameron-esque play calling, which I can only imagine is the result of Harbaugh telling Caldwell that he wants to run this type of offense.

Apparently, I'm not the only one who thinks Ray Lewis wishes he could go back to the game...

 Not as good as the Madden ads w/him and Paul Rudd though

First Ed Reed was Cut...Then He Went Unclaimed...

First Ed Reed was cut. Then he went unclaimed. It just keeps getting worse from there: http://t.co/vSj1BNfWyZ
— NOTSportsCenter (@NOTSportsCenter) November 13, 2013

Ed Reed is now a Jet

SOURCES: Ed Reed's contract with the #Jets will allow him to take Tuesdays off to play Bingo and Thursdays off to feed the ducks at the pond
— NOTSportsCenter (@NOTSportsCenter) November 14, 2013

Ed Reed forced to sign with Jets after losing bet
— Evil Mike Tomlin (@EvilMikeTomlin) November 14, 2013

So Ed Reed just sign with the NY Jets lol! Good luck to them!
— Madison Porter (@UConnHuskyBlue3) November 14, 2013

Was really hoping Ed Reed would end his career on a high note. Too bad he decided to end up in #NewYork @nyjets
— Wayne Banks (@wbanks32) November 14, 2013

Ed Reed signed with the Jets. What have I done to deserve this!?
— Brian MacGinnis (@Batman_Bey0nd) November 14, 2013

Ed Reed isn't washed up. Texans just didn't play the man right. Jets about to prosper.
— O'Neill (@AvatarOneill) November 14, 2013

Ed reed just wasted his time going to the jets
— Christian (@Jinky2020) November 14, 2013

I'm sure Ed Reed will work out just as well for the Jets as David Garrard, Brett Favre, Ladainian Tomlinson and Santonio Holmes did.
— 210pros (@210pros) November 14, 2013

PLEASE Ed Reed come out and BALL the remainder of the season so you can silence the naysayers...
— Donte' Stallworth (@DonteStallworth) November 14, 2013

Ed Reed shoulda just retired after the Super Bowl with Ray Lewis, he's out there just tarnishing his career at this point
— Ryan Kenny (@RyanKenny23) November 14, 2013

Could the Ed Reed move be exactly what Rex needs to get the monkey off his back vs the #Ravens? A shot of confidence?
— Nick Spano (@NickSpano) November 14, 2013

sweet the jets got ed reed. not like hes an injury prone grandpa or anything
— George P (@gjp_19) November 14, 2013

The Next Step in Videobombing

Ed Reed was totally in the Ed Reed Zone, talking about Ed Reed, when Arian Foster showed up in the background on his Segway and slowly rolled past the oblivious safety. The best part is Foster's straight face and "To hell with this" look as he rolls away. Much like the butt fumble, I could watch this all day. (Source) (Also, can we pause and marvel at how awesome it is that the worst play in Mark Sanchez's career (so far?) has its own legit Wikipedia page?!)

While this is definitely my new favorite "bomb," nothing will ever replace Aaron Rodgers as the King of the Photobomb. The man is a true master of his craft; he even photobombed Brett Favre on a few occasions! Despite his affection for unfortunate mustaches, I can't help but love him.

I almost choked on my granola bar when I saw this one.
God, I hope he made those poor boys deaf...because I'm a bad person.