Baltimore: Not Just for Murderers and Crackheads Anymore!

Transcript:

Troy: "Mr. Lewis. I'm writing a children's book about a bobble-head doll that goes to Baltimore. Can you suggest how the story may end?"

Ray: "THANKS FOR INVITING ME TO PARTICIPATE IN YOUR CREATIVE PROCESS, TROY! I'M VERY FLATTERED! AS FOR YOUR ENDING, IT DEPENDS ON WHAT THE DOLL LIKES TO DO! He could see a Broadway show at the historic Hippodrome Theatre, be brought on stage, and become a famous actor. He could dine at one of our hundreds of seafood restaurants and become a crabber. The doll could visit Little Italy and join a bocce league. He could immerse himself in the city's DIY art scene and have his face melted off. There's so much more to Baltimore than murder and crack!"

Troy: "I'm talking about your game against Mr. Manning."

Ray: "...OH. THEN THE BOBBLEHEAD BREAKS!"

I get to go home to Baltimore next Friday (yes, the day the world will supposedly end), and I'm looking forward to seeing everyone and going back to my old haunts. Denver's food "scene" pales in comparison to that in Baltimore, and while I'm super-bummed I won't be able to see my crazy friends put on a rock opera while I'm in town, it's nice to know that I'm from a city where such an opportunity for awesomeness even exists.

People at work have told me that I'm their "frenemy" this weekend, and Shawn has already sighed and said that he's rooting for the Broncos by default. Once again, I'll only get to watch part of the game and then listen to the second half while getting ready for my (final) performance. I hope that RvT is a positive one for the Ravens when I come into work on Monday.