HE'S BACK, BABY!!

Oh, James. I like sandwiches too. <3

Baltimore sports blogs, news, and radio shows are blowing up with giddiness that our Fearless Leader and Official Mascot Ray Lewis has returned to the field for practice. Not gonna lie, I'm excited as well. Of course, I'm terrified that he's risking hurting himself more, because (and don't tell him I said this) at his age, it takes longer to heal. There's also considerable (and legitimate) concern that Sizzle is coming back too soon from his injury as well. These guys...I know we need to lock up the division, but dudes...we're playing the Broncos Peyton Manning and the Giants in a couple of weeks! Yes, everyone loves RG3; he's the break-out Rookie of the Year. But...I still can't get excited about the Redskins...which inevitably means this will be a terrible, awful game against them. I'm only doing pre-show and a scene in Act II on Sunday's matinee, so I'll be in the green room listening to the game from my Ravens app. Hopefully I remember not to scream so loudly the audience can hear me. :p

BONUS VIDEOS!!!

I hadn't seen this video yet, but while reading an article on the Ravens' official website, I saw it, and immediately fell in love.

"I'M YO FAM'LY!!"

"You're my family."

The latest Madden 2013 Rivalry between dreamboat actor Paul Rudd and not-very-good-at-playing-Madden Ray Lewis continues into the Christmas season. The men have taken their rivalry VERY SERIOUSLY, and don't even know where they are or what time it is. 

"You just fa la la la la la la la LOST!"

Ray Vs. Troy FOR REAL

Ray Lewis and Troy Polamalu are as well-know for their commercials off the field as they are for their feats of strength and prowess on the field. But WHO reigns SUPREME?! WHO is the King of the Commercials? His Highness of Hawking Stuff? I'll let you all decide...

We'll begin with Ray Lewis' most recent (and, in my opinion, most HILARIOUS) commercial about player safety. In it a mother thanks Tom Brady and a doctor for creating technology to protect football players like her son. While the internet seethed with rage about the "fakeness" of the commercial (scroll to the middle of the page for the section in question), others can at least enjoy the humor of the "twist ending."

Next let's counter with one of the original Troy commercials for Head & Shoulders. The company actually insured Troy's long, luscious, full-bodied locks for $1 million through Lloyd's of London, which also holds policies for Jennifer Lopez's butt. Is Troy's hair worthy enough to invest such a large sum of money?

I'd love to know if that's all his real hair, and they just teased it out for the commercial.

Also, I'm jealous. SO. JEALOUS.

This next Ray Lewis video is but one in a series of hilarious ads for Madden 13 by EA Sports. In it, Ray Lewis casually plays the game with real-life Steelers fan Paul Rudd (a total dreamboat). While there were many to choose from, this was Shawn's favorite.

Shawn's wife, after seeing this commercial and a few videos of Ray Ray on the field: "How is Paul Rudd still alive?!"

I'll end Troy's run with this delightful, recent advertisement featuring Troy's new school The Troy Polamalu School of Deeper Learning. (Perhaps a response to Sizzle's Ball So Hard University?) There are SO MANY great commercials in this series, but I chose this one because it's one that you've more than likely seen on your TV. I highly recommend watching "Advanced Music Appreciation." Troy and guest Brett Keisel use Spanish accents. It's...brilliantly moving.

The best was, of course, saved for last. Perhaps the best-known of Ray Lewis' commercials, this is the one that proverbially "started it all." It's his EPIC ad for Old Spice Swagger body wash. In it, Ray wears nothing but a mass of bubbles, rides a giant raven, and uses the raven's laser eyes to destroy Saturn. How can you beat that?!

P-P-P-P-PUR-PLE POW-WER!

Madden Mania

Poor Troy. All he wanted to do was play a friendly game of Madden against Ray Lewis and his boys. After all, if Ray can play against movie star heart throb Paul Rudd, then surely he'd play with his good buddy Troy! Unfortunately, Ray is too into himself and his "starring" role in the game to have time to actually PLAY it with anyone other than a paid celebrity. Pity. I bet the Lewises and the Palomalus would have a great time.