A Vocabulary Lesson with Mr. Lewis - Part Two

The vocabulary lesson finishes with three more useful terms for all NFL fans to know. We're going to start with a word that's been around about as long as "Romo" has and is about a quarterback who's just as marinated in failure as Tony Romo is.

I don't need to tell you how ridiculous Mark Sanchez is. Look up any of my blog entries that are tagged "lolJets" or "Mark Sanchez," you'll get a brief intro to the world of awful he lives in. Therefore, I won't even bother going any further in this definition and just leave you with this tweet by one of my favorite satirical Twitter accounts:

#Jets 30 #Falcons 28 FINAL If Mark Sanchez was QB, they wouldn't have needed that field goal to win. They'd be down by 20.
— NOTSportsCenter NFL (@NOTSCNFL) October 8, 2013

Ravens fans will NEVER forgive He Who Shall Not Be Named (Billy Cundiff) for being the sole (don't argue with us on this point) reason that the team didn't win the AFC Championship game in 2011. His wide-left whiff field goal attempt broke hearts across the world.

I literally choked on my own spit when I saw that this video existed.

Any time an opposing kicker lines up for a field goal, we all chant for a "Cundiff," hoping the kicker shames his team mates and his family members by screwing up and costing his team crucial points.

Five games in and Billy Cundiff has only missed two field goals. This has to be a record for him, right? #TNF
— NOTSportsCenter NFL (@NOTSCNFL) October 4, 2013

I INTERRUPT THIS POST TO SHOW YOU THE BEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN ON URBAN DICTIONARY. (Look in the upper right corner.)

That beautiful picture is a great transition into our final definition: Bradying. The term comes from an unofficial rule NFL referees have seemingly made up that protects a quarterback (except for Ben Roethlisberger or Joe Flacco or anyone else who can actually take a hit) from being touched during games. If you hurt the QB, then what's the point of even finishing the game? The incident that truly embodies this rule happened in 2008 when safety Bernard Pollard (then with the Kansas City Chiefs) slammed into Tom Brady and ended the superstar's season. After Brady returned, there was a long period of time when a defensive player couldn't even THINK of MAYBE hitting Tommy Boy or else they'd get called for a personal foul.

Example: "Terrell Suggs was fined $250,000 today for Bradying before the AFC Championship game. Said the hard-hitter, 'I guess I sneezed too close to Tom, and the slight breeze it created messed up his hair. This s**t is getting ridiculous.'"

This Year is the Bills' Year...Or is it?!

I have a friend on Twitter (we bonded over our mutual love of tacos) who is a diehard (as much as possible) Bills fan. I sent him an article about how the much-maligned Kevin Kolb has recently joined my favorite underdog team, and these tweets were his reactions:

Shawn, on the other hand, isn't as my friend about Buffalo's chances of making it to the big game:

"Maybe it is the Bills year. Their year for what, I don’t know but it could indeed be their year. Maybe it’s their year to have more staff infections than the Cleveland Browns? Maybe it’s their year to get the #1 overall draft pick. Maybe it’s their year to throw more interceptions than yards? Who knows!"

Only time will tell if the Bills will return to the Big Show for the first time since I was a tiny child with no knowledge whatsoever of football, only the innate knowledge that the Cowboys were a terrible organization of terrible people and should be rooted against at all costs.

EDIT: One more opinion from Shawn: "My only other thought about this being the Bills' year is that the Super Bowl is NEXT year..." Oh, Shawn, so literal.