Best Security Team Ever

Shawn told me that the whole IT department has cameras and sensors set up in their offices and areas to prevent theft, hence why he doesn't worry when he leaves his door open. ...I didn't have the heart to tell Ray and Troy.

Fire, or Shawn is Really Weird

I've been sitting here for a few minutes in the wee hours of my work day trying to figure out what to title this post. Shawn was very proud that he made a Ray Vs. Troy on his own, and while it's randomly funny...it's also rather weird.

An appropriate quote for this post comes from the famous Run of rap superstars Run D.M.C.: "To burn my kingdom, you must use fire, I won’t stop rockin’ till I RETIRE..."

Transcript:

Troy: "Mr. Lewis, have you ever been fired?"
Ray: "FIRED? NO! I LIT MY ARM ON FIRE ONCE JUST TO FEEL THE PAIN. YOU?"
Troy: "My hair got burned a bit once while barbecuing. It's ok though. Insurance covered the damage."

Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia!

Because Shawn's hand-writing is a little difficult to decipher in this post, here's a transcript:

Troy: "Mr. Lewis, I heard that as we get older it can be hard to stay in shape to play football. I heard some players eat Chia Pet seeds to retain water. How do you stay ready to play and keep grey hair away?"

Ray: "I'M GLAD THAT WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS, TROY! I HAD A CAMEL'S HUMP SURGICALLY ADDED TO MY BACK TO RETAIN WATER, ESPECIALLY IN DRIER CLIMES! AND I HAVE A FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH IN MY HOUSE TO STAY GOOD-LOOKING!"

And yes, this is actually a thing.

The TRUE Meaning of "NFL"

Last night was the first night of pre-season football for the Ravens and the Steelers. Ray tells Troy how he spent the night after the first quarter.

FOOOOOOOOTBAAAAAALLL!!!

OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS, IT'S FOOTBALL SEASON FINALLY!!

And I'm not the only one who's excited!!

The Ravens and the Steelers both have their first preseason games tonight (8/9/12), and honestly? It couldn't come have come soon enough. Surprisingly, the Baltimore Orioles are doing GREAT this year, but after decades of disappointment and sorrow, I'm terribly jaded about their ability to play baseball well. My fiance is pretty stoked though.

Shawn and I are also hoping that the beginning of football season will curb the amount of NFL players getting arrested every week. Maybe with something exhausting and positive to do with their time, players will feel less inclined to get hammered and drive their cars into things or punch their moms or get caught with a ton of weed in their possession. One can only hope.

Article for Steelers fans: Tomlin on the Preseason Opener. (Steelers @ Eagles)

Article for Ravens fans: Previewing the Ravens' Preseason Opener. (Ravens @ Falcons)

"This is Birdland, Dammit." - Fans need to rally behind the Orioles

The Great Healers

Because the picture quality is less than ideal (I was hurrying to take the picture before leaving, and it was taken on my camera-phone, as always), here is the dialogue transcript:

Ray: "HEY TROY! I SURE AM SORRY THAT I TORE BEN'S ROTATOR CUFF!"
Troy: "That's ok, Mr. Lewis. Tim Tebow & I laid hands on him, and now he's all better."
Ray: "COULD YOU FIX SIZZLE PLEASE?!"
Troy: "I'm afraid I can't do that, sir. My team wants to win this year."
Ray: "...Dang."

I think Ray is just *assuming* that he was the cause of Big Ben's injury, so I'd take his apology with a grain of salt.

Shawn approached me this morning and sternly told me that I should be "ashamed" for going against Troy's character. "He would NEVER lay hands on someone, and he would NEVER refuse to help someone just to win a football game!" While Shawn is absolutely correct, I just really liked the image I got in my head of Big Ben touching Troy's hair and being miraculously cured while Tim Tebow, standing in a halo of light, being sung to by angels, prayed for Ben's quick recovery. Out of respect to my colleague, however, I will do better in the future about maintaining continuity of the characters in our blog.

It's All about the Benjamins, Baby

The Steelers are having a little drama off the field, and Ray tries to get the inside scoop. Troy, however, remains loyal to his team mate.

The trouble with Mike Wallace: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1278602-mike-wallace-holdout-pittsburgh-steelers-should-listen-to-trade-offers-for-wr